Nan posted these and methinks they're funny! So.... I posted them too!

1. Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
2. Borrow money from a pessimist-they don't expect it back.
3. Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.
4. Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
5. I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
6. Never answer an anonymous letter.
7. It's lonely at the top; but you do eat better.
8. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
9. Always go to other people's funerals, or they won't go to yours.
10. Few women admit their age; few men act it.
11. If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made with meat?
12. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
13. Give me abiguity or give me something else.
14. We have enough youth. How about a fountain of "Smart'?
15. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
16. Campers: Nature's way of feeding mosquitoes.
17. Always remember that you are unique: just like everyone else.
18. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
19. There are three kinds of people: Those who can count, and those who can't.
20. Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
21. Nuke the whales.